Worshiping Together With Our Children

Steven Lee

Pastor for Preaching & Vision

Dear North Church,

When I was growing up, I remember that the church service had a kids’ moment where children were invited to sit on stage as the pastor shared a brief word from the Bible. In my elementary years, at another church, I remember being dismissed after the singing for “children’s church,” a message in another room geared toward children. When visiting a large church in Minnesota a few years ago, my children were encouraged to go to the “fun zone” with games and popcorn while parents headed off to the smoke-filled auditorium. You may notice that we don’t do any of these things at The North Church.

When I first came to Bethlehem in 2008, before it became The North Church, I noticed infants and children of all ages sitting with their parents and participating in worship services. I didn’t have children yet, but it struck me as different in a good way. Since then, Stephanie and I have sought to train our children to participate in corporate worship.

Pastor John Piper’s article, The Family: Together in God’s Presence, was formative and instructive for us. I commend it to the parents of young children trying to figure out why they should keep their children with them in worship and how to train them towards that goal. Noël Piper also provides lots of helpful advice for parents of young children.

With five children from ages 8 to 16, here are several reflections on the value of having children together with us in worship.

Worship is Caught and Taught. Children are catching more than we realize through the atmosphere, reverence, music, lyrics, prayers, Scripture reading, preaching, the Lord’s Supper, and baptism. Much of it they might not fully understand, but they probably catch far more than we realize. The night before, parents can walk children through the Order of Worship to know what to expect. We have Spotify playlists for parents to help their children become familiar with the music (linked at the bottom of each Friday email). Use Sunday’s drive home or Sunday lunch to discuss what you noticed, appreciated, or didn’t understand. This regular rhythm helps shape the hearts and minds of little people.

Training Begins at Home. I believe it’s a reasonable expectation for young children to be able to sit through a seventy-five-minute worship service. This doesn’t happen without training, and that instruction begins in the home. If your children can sit still watching a thirty-minute Paw Patrol or Wild Kratts episode, they can sit through a thirty-minute sermon. This takes practice and training. It may mean they last only fifteen minutes this week. Commend them and aim for twenty next week. Encourage children to take notes or draw a picture of the Scripture passage. This won’t happen by accident, yet I believe it’s a worthwhile pursuit to cultivate a habit of worshiping together as a family.

Abounding Grace as We Grow Together. The aim of this is not to heap guilt or pressure on frazzled young parents. We provide a nursery full of loving caregivers to help hold little ones while exhausted moms and dads worship. We have a nursing mothers’ room for those needing to feed their infants. We have video screens in the Commons if a young child is too noisy to remain in the sanctuary. We recognize there will be the occasional cry, squeal, or other restless noises during worship. Yet, we want parents to know their children are warmly welcomed and eagerly invited to participate in our worship. We believe this is a healthy pattern to aspire to. This includes special needs children and adults as well.

We love having families worship together, while also recognizing that parents are in different places of conviction and children are at various stages of training. We also recognize there are unique circumstances, special needs, or single parenting that may make this more difficult. We desire to help parents know that there is abounding grace as we grow together in cultivating lifelong worshipers from the youngest ages and stages of life.

Also, if this is an area where you are struggling, please don’t hesitate to ask others for help. Many families have walked this road and can encourage you and share insights as you seek to cultivate the joy of worship in your children. Also, as we move towards summer, our last day of Sunday school will be Sunday, May 17. Let the summer months be an opportunity to shepherd your little ones to participate in corporate worship (nursery for those three and under will continue to be provided).

Eager to welcome the little ones,

Pastor Steven