Sin and Restoration

Listen on

Steven Lee
Pastor for Preaching & Vision

0:16Well, good morning and welcome. We're glad you're here as we continue to work through Matthew's Gospel, and we come to a passage about church discipline. So not everyone's favorite topic. I don't think any one of us have this cross-stitched into any pillows. So let's pray and ask the Lord for help this morning. Father in heaven, help us to see the goodness of your commands for the good and for the flourishing of your church this morning. Help us embrace your word, obey it, and cultivate a community that loves and treasures Jesus above all else. Come now in the power of your Spirit, we pray in Jesus' name.

1:10Amen. If you were searching for a new church, hopefully you're not, but maybe you are, and maybe you're visiting. If you were searching for a new church, what would be on your list, the list of things that you're looking for? You might look for a church that engages in expositional preaching, or you might prioritize community and relationships and maybe have some friends that go to that church, or are the people warm and welcoming? Do they say hi to me? Did the person next to me greet me? Maybe, does the music resonate with me? Did they sing some songs that I knew the lyrics to? Others, maybe some families might look for a church that has a nursery or some children's ministry or a youth group for their teenagers, or some people might look for a church that has people in a similar stage of life. Do they have a singles group or maybe some empty nesters or young families?

2:12Others might base their decision on whether the pastors or the elders seem friendly and relatable, or does the church serve its community or engage in global missions? As you can imagine, the list goes on and on for the things that we might look for in a church. And yet for most people, one thing rarely makes the list, a church that exercises church discipline. Few people would actively say that they want a church that holds its members accountable. And as you know, Jesus has been teaching through this chapter of Matthew, and he's been addressing it to the community of faith. And this passage outlines the pathway of church discipline. Very often, we call verses 15 to 20 just the Matthew 18 process.

3:09Others have called this the Magna Carta of confrontation. So the first thing we see in this passage is that interpersonal conflict within the church is not an anomaly, but it's actually to be expected. The fact that Jesus would take time, of all the things he could possibly teach, he's addressing this, means that interpersonal conflict is going to happen in the church. When you gather sinners together, guess what happens? They sin. Harsh or hurtful words may be spoken, and sometimes these interpersonal conflicts can even escalate into serious offenses. Earlier this week, I was at a gathering of pastors and spouses as part of our network, and there was one testimony that was shared that sort of made me pause for a moment.

4:06This pastor shared that they had these disgruntled church members, and they were excommunicated for their unrepentant sin. And so in response, these individuals did several things, but one of the things that they did is they posted a 277-page manifesto calling out the leaders and the church, and it called for the killing of the church's leaders and its members, posted their phone numbers, addresses, doxing them, and posting it on the web. They were then convicted, and they face some serious charges. That highlights that conflict can grow severe, and it might make some of us a little bit squeamish, nervous about practicing something like church discipline.

5:03And yet, what we're going to discover this morning, the main thing we're going to see in this text is that Jesus loves the unity and the purity of his church, which is why he gives us verses 15 to 20. Jesus loves the unity and the purity of his church, and he wants us to know how to address conflict when it happens. He gives us this blueprint for resolving interpersonal conflict, and the aim of these instructions is restoration and reconciliation. So these instructions, as much as we might not like them, are for our good this morning. It's like whenever you get on an airplane, you get the video screen or the flight attendants give you the safety presentation in case of an emergency landing or if we happen to lose cabin pressure, and we all ignore itJesus is teaching us how to address interpersonal conflict when it arises in the church.

6:10So we're going to look at this passage in three ways. The reason to confront sin, the way to confront sin, and the authority to confront sin. The reason, the way, and the authority to confront sin. And first, we're going to begin with the reason to confront sin, and this is going to be drawn from sort of the larger kind of context of our passage. Church discipline, as mentioned in the beginning, is foreign to many. It's rarely exercised. Maybe it's off-putting to some. You might even be nervous that we're even talking about this this morning. Maybe you've seen it exercised with poor judgment. Church discipline is about as popular as spanking a child in public, one commentator said. So even the word excommunication sounds old-fashioned and archaic. We actually had a conversation among our elders to say, "Should we even use the word?" several weeks ago. Some might think maybe we've outgrown such ancient practices. Someone can leave this church and find a dozen more down the street.

7:19And yet, I want to give four reasons to confront sin drawn from the broader context of this passage. Four reasons to confront sin. The first is that sin is serious. The first reason to confront sin is that sin is serious. Earlier, if you look all the way back to verses six through nine of chapter 18, Jesus says, "It would be better for you to have a great millstone fastened around your neck and to be drowned into the depths of the sea if you cause one of my disciples to sin." In other words, beware of causing others to sin. We should, in fact, take extreme measures. He says if your eye causes you to sin or your hand, you should cut it off or gouge it out. In other words, take extreme measures to combat sin and temptation. So sinning against a fellow believer requires biblical confrontation.

8:18So sin is serious. The second reason, sin spreads. Back in Matthew chapter 16, Jesus taught his disciples. He said to them, "Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the Sadducees." So what was he warning them against? Beware of their false teaching, of their hypocrisy, of their attitudes, and of their actions, because if it goes unchecked, what does it do? It begins to spread, infiltrate, and then it leavens the whole loaf. And I think in the same way, we could see that interpersonal offense can fester like an infection and begin to grow. We've all maybe experienced friends in our friend group that have a falling out, and then everyone begins to feel the awkwardness of that tension.

9:08Number three, the third reason to confront sin is the aim of love. Last week's passage, if you remember, it speaks of the father leaving the 99 because he so loves the one, the one wandering and straying away. And the reason we get this passage coming right after is that the father does not long for any of his little sheep to be lost, and so he gives us instructions on how we are to bring back that wanderer, how we are to bring back that stray. So the aim of confronting sin is love. The church is to care enough about one another that we humbly and lovingly and gently seek to admonish and bring one another back into the sheepfold of God.

10:00It's like if I see a child misbehaving at the airport. I can easily move on because I'm like, "That's not my kid. Good luck," right? But if I see my own children misbehaving, they're a little too old for that now, but if I see them misbehaving, then love compels me to instruct and to redirect and to discipline my children. Hebrews 12:6, this is speaking of the Lord. The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastises every son whom he receives. So we should expect that there is a pathway for God to bring his loving correction into our lives. And so Jesus' instructions here in this passage stem out of his love for wanderers.

10:49The fourth and final reason that we are to confront sin is in order to forgive and restore. In order to forgive and restore. Look at the very next passage in Matthew 21 to 35. What's that all about? Forgiveness. It's a parable of the unforgiving servant. So confrontation, what Jesus is teaching here, is not primarily to win an argument, to exercise punishment. It's about winning someone over so that they would repent and so that you could forgive them and you could restore them. If we confront someone, do we have as part of our aim that if they turn, I'm eager and ready to forgive? If that's not in your mind, you may not be ready to confront someone.

11:39So the reason to confront sin is that sin is serious, it spreads, and so humble, loving confrontation is motivated out of love for the aim of forgiveness and restoration. So now we're going to look at the way to confront sin. So look with me at verses 15 to 17. Here we get the way to confront sin. It says, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

12:34This text teaches us how to confront a fellow believer in the church. The reference, "If your brother sins against you," is talking about a fellow believer in the local church. These are not directions on confronting unbelievers or a random person on social media. Interpersonal sin has severed the relationship, and it's implying a serious offense rather than something trivial. And the first step, we're going to see three steps, the first step is to humbly raise the issue privately. You can see that in verse 15. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault. This idea of telling him his fault has the idea of conviction or reproof. In other words, show your brother what he did, how it falls short of God's commands so that you might win them over. They maybe didn't even know that they hurt or offended you.

13:34We are to do this humbly. The way that I understand that is because back in chapter 18, verses three and four, Jesus said, "Every single one of you, if you're to enter into the kingdom, what must you be like? Humble like little children." We should remember Jesus' teaching in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 7:5. "Take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Or Galatians 6:1. This is Paul writing. If anyone is caught in any transgression, who should confront them? You who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.

14:19So we are to confront humbly, gently, lovingly. Notice what he doesn't say. He doesn't say sulk about it. He doesn't say ignore it. He doesn't say post it on social media. He doesn't say share it anonymously in a prayer request, like pray for this friend of mine who's really struggling with gossip and disclosing things she shouldn't share with others. He doesn't say bounce it off a few people. He says go directly and initiate a conversation with humility and with the aim of love. And if you've ever done this, you know how hard it is to be on the receiving end of even a gentle, loving rebuke. And you know how hard it is to bring a humble, gentle, loving rebuke. We need the Lord's help.

15:14We don't embark on step one without a healthy measure of fear and trembling and seeking the Lord in prayer. This primarily refers to interpersonal offenses. Jesus is giving us these guardrails. The Bible gives us different approaches towards different types of sin. So there's things like in 1 Corinthians 5 that speaks of overt, gross sexual immorality, and it says there, "Let the individual be removed. Purge the evil person." Or someone who stirs up division, it says, "Warn him once and then twice, and then have nothing to do with him." Or with false teaching, Paul writes, "Rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith." That's Titus 1:13. So there's different approaches to different types of sin within the Christian community, and this passage in particular is addressing interpersonal conflict between believers.

16:16So say you leave the church later this afternoon and someone has backed into your car. Do you need to go to them one-on-one and have this private conversation? I think you can just exchange insurance information and let that process walk its way out. I've seen people, I've heard of churches who weaponize this passage. Where someone will harm a child, and they'll say, "Well, that child needs to come and confront their abuser or offender." No, that's not the case. The parent should inform the appropriate church and/or legal authorities to investigate. This is primarily addressing interpersonal offenses within the church. Now, what's the goal of step one?

16:58Look at the second half of verse 15. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. The phrase, if he listens, carries it with this idea of conviction of sin. They're repenting. They're confessing. They're taking responsibility. It means that you've repaired this severed relationship. The aim is redemption, and this goes back to the reason for church discipline. This is what real love within the church looks like, and when this is done well, 99% of church discipline begins and ends in verse 15. Most often, it doesn't need to progress into the next steps. If the private appeal is rejected, though, it moves to step two, where others become involved. So it says, "The person who's aware of the serious sin takes one or two others along, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses." This is based on Deuteronomy 19:15.

18:04Let me just read it for you. Deuteronomy 19:15, it says, "A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established." Now, Deuteronomy is addressing kind of crimes that are tried in a court of law, but the wisdom is applied more broadly, and here Jesus applies it to interpersonal offense.This individual, if the private confrontation didn't bear any fruit, they're to bring others along, likely leaders within the church. And so it raises the stakes. It highlights the seriousness of the matter. It's not to gang up on the individual, but it's to involve unbiased parties that are going to hear both sides of the story, to seek to determine what is true, or what went wrong, or how to move forward towards reconciliation.

19:06They're to discern. Is the person making a false accusation? Is someone exaggerating or lying? Or if the accusation is true, they would add their appeal that the offending party would repent. These individuals help gather evidence and seek to understand the conflict. They're to help determine who's at fault or if the initial person is making a mountain out of a molehill. These witnesses are to validate the concerns, and they can even function as witnesses if it's brought before the whole church. They can serve as mediators. And so I said earlier, if 99% of church discipline ends in verse 15, in step one, of the remaining 1%, I think 99% end in step two.

19:57Whatever the math is on that, you can figure it out. And yet, if they still don't respond, and usually step two is this long, extended process. It could take weeks, months, maybe even years, depending on the complexity of some of these issues. Very often we see this in marriages that have dug themselves into some significant conflict that has taken 20 years to dig that hole, and so it's going to take some time to discover what is going on. But if step two bears no fruit, then step three occurs if the individual still refuses to listen and repent. They're to tell it to the church. Now, this implies that the witnesses determined that there was unrepentant, sinful behavior. The individual still refuses to repent, refuses to turn, refuses to own up to it. And in this final stage of appeal, the whole church is invited to call the offender to repent and to be reconciled. At our church, we often make verse 17 a two-step process.

21:09We'll share at a congregational meeting that this individual has been privately confronted. Two or three others, usually elders, have gone to this individual. It's clear and it's obvious what's taking place. They've refused to repent, and so we're telling it to the church so that those who know this individual might go to them and appeal to them to say, "Please, turn, repent." And if they still refuse, we'll come back at the next congregational meeting, and we'll invite the church to vote in order to remove them from membership under discipline. It's to sober that individual. If everyone who knows of your Christian faith says to you, "You are not living up to what Christ commands.

21:56We cannot affirm that you are a believer," this should put the fear of God in them. Now, what does it mean to treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector? If you've been tracking with our series through Matthew, you'll notice that Jesus treats Gentiles very kindly in his gospel. We saw the Roman centurion who he commended for his faith, or the Canaanite woman, who he also commended for her faith and healed her daughter. Matthew himself is a tax collector. Does Jesus mean treat them very kindly? Probably not. Matthew is writing to a Jewish audience who would typically avoid any interaction with Gentiles and tax collectors. They wouldn't associate with them.

22:47They wouldn't come into their homes. They wouldn't eat with them. You can go to Acts 10 to see how much was needed in order for Peter to go into the home of a Gentile. He needed a vision from God, repeated three times, in order to take that step. The idea here is instead of treating these individuals as brothers or sisters in the faith, they should be viewed and treated as those who need to repent. They're on the outside of the community. They're not to be treated as members. Paul in Romans 16:17 says to avoid those who cause divisions or teach contrary to sound doctrine. You're to avoid them altogether. Or 2 Thessalonians 3:14, Paul writes, "If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed." So treat them as outsiders. Don't have anything to do with them.

23:461 Corinthians 5 says, "Don't associate with people who bear the name of brother but who persist in unrepentant, ongoing sin. Instead, purge the evil person from among you." Now, what's the aim of such severe action? To remove this individual and to treat them as an unbeliever. 1 Corinthians 5:5 says, "You are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord." In other words, it's to sober that individual to say, "You're no longer part of this body." And I think there is a sense in which God removes his grace from this individual through the churchAnd they're, in a sense, handed over to Satan so that they might be humbled. You can think of the prodigal son who wanders away from his father's household, makes a shipwreck of his life, is eating out of a pigsty, and he finally comes to his senses and says, "I can go home."

24:57That's the aim of this. Our prayer is that God would use this severe kind of punishment to cause this person to repent, to confess, and to return, and to be renewed with the church. Renewed life and fellowship and joy in the church. So step one is private confrontation. Step two is to bring others along. Step three is to bring it to the church, and if the individual still refuses to repent, you remove them from the community. Now I want to turn to verses 18 to 20, the authority to confront sin. Look with me at 18 to 20 in your Bibles. "Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them."

26:07So Jesus anticipates an objection that might be brought by the individual who's being excommunicated. If the church body has just voted to say, "We need to remove this person. He's refusing to repent," what is that person likely to say? "How dare you? Who gave you the authority to say that I'm not a believer? I've made a profession of faith. I was baptized. I still believe in Jesus. What gives you the right to kick me out?" Well, Jesus reveals that the church has divine authority given to them by God, and God and Christ stand behind the church's judgment. That's what we see in 18 to 20. First, verse 18. It's nearly identical to Matthew 16:19. And in that passage, Jesus says to Peter that "I'm giving you the keys of the kingdom to bind and loose on earth."

27:12And now Jesus makes clear that it's not just Peter, it's not just the apostles, but it's his whole entire church who has been given divine authority to bind and loose on Earth. So what does that mean? It means the church exercises the divine authority of God, the keys of the kingdom. They can lock and they can unlock by proclaiming the gospel for salvation, receiving believers into membership, excommunicating those who refuse to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel. It's a metaphor for you can lock the doors, and you can unlock the doors. At the end of Matthew, the church is going to be given this great commission to exercise these keys of the kingdom, to bind and to loose, and to preach the gospel, and to make disciples, and to usher people into his kingdom. So one of the aspects of the authority that the church has been given is to exercise discipline of those who claim the name of Christ but refuse to obey his commands.

28:15In other words, the church has been given divine authority and a critical role in redemptive history. This is really amazing. This is partly why we emphasize church membership here at the North Church. It's not just so that you can be kind of on the inner club. No, we want you participating in exercising the authority of the church that we have been given by God himself. Verse 19 gives us this promise, "If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my father in heaven." And then you see in verse 20, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." This is not primarily about prayer meetings or corporate worship, which is very often applied that way, but it relates directly to this broader context of the church exercising its authority in church discipline.

29:17It means that when believers gather to judge these matters of what to bind or what to loose, who to admit into membership, who to excommunicate, who to discipline, God is in our midst, guiding his church in order to carry out what is true and right and good. This is a remarkable promise that Jesus promises his very presence with the church when we exercise this authority. And so in response to the objection, "Who gives you the authority to say that I'm not a believer?" Answer, God does. He gives us wisdom. He guides us. Verse 20 reveals, "There I am among them." So when we deliberate over hard church discipline cases, and last year we had two, Jesus promises his church, "I am with you."

30:24And what does he also highlight in that? It's not just the Father who's with us, but it's Jesus who's with us. He highlights that he is the chief shepherd, the head of his church, and that he is with us in power.So we've seen that Jesus loves the unity and the purity of his church, which is why he gives us these safety instructions on how to deal with interpersonal conflict when it arises in the church. Why does he do this? Because Christ is the head and we are the body, and Jesus wants to make sure his body is healthy, it's holy, it's pure. He washes it in the Word. You could say that church discipline, Matthew 18:15 to 20, is like spiritual chemotherapy to kill cancer cells within the church before they grow and create more problems.

31:25And this passage underscores Jesus' divinity. He leaves the 99 in search of the one, and now he empowers his church, gives them divine authority in order to pursue the wandering one so that they might be rescued and reconciled. So church discipline, frankly, for pastors, elders, it's really hard work. It is not fun. And if it was optional, we would definitely leave it behind. It would just be easier not to do. Everyone gets angry at you. It doesn't matter. Everyone's angry. No one ever thinks you do it right. And yet we practice it because Jesus commands it and it's for the good and health of his church.

32:17It's for our good. It's for our flourishing. It's how we are conformed into the image of Jesus more and more. And so in the same way, if throughout the sermon in the back of your mind, in the pit of your stomach, you're like, "Oh, I should go to that person. Oh, there's that conflict I know about," take this as your gentle prodding. It needs to be addressed, and you have your marching orders. We have Jesus' instructions for our good here this morning. He loves his church, but he loves it too much to leave it the way that it is. The world looks at church discipline or the idea of shunning or excommunication, and it just instinctively recoils from it. It just thinks it's old-fashioned and backwards.

33:16And churches that just want to attract people, I don't think this is something they practice or that they preach. And yet you should really want your church to practice biblical church discipline. Real, loving, humble, and gentle accountability is exceptionally rare in this world. And we do this because we get to participate in what Christ is doing for the good and for the flourishing of his people. So I want to give three really brief applications very quickly and then we'll end. Three applications for us. The first is a question. Is our aim love? If you're going to engage in this type of private confrontation, are you going to do it with humility?

34:13Is your aim going to be love? Paul writes to Timothy in 1 Timothy 1:5. He says, "The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." So is our goal, if we're going to confront someone, that they might be restored and forgiven? Are we taking the log out of our own eye? Are we coming with meekness and humility? Do we recognize our own contributions to the problem? Can Proverbs 27:6 be said of us? "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." Do we speak the truth in love? Second application. If you're on the receiving end of private confrontation, will we receive, be willing, humble enough to receive this type of confrontation?

35:16Even if it isn't presented perfectly, can we discern that this is a correction from a friend who loves us? Or whenever we get criticism, can we say, "Okay, it wasn't done the best way. Anonymous emails are not my favorite." Or whatever it may be, long extended letters, hopefully no 277-page manifestos. But can I see a kernel of truth there that the Lord is using to admonish me, to rebuke me, to correct me so that I might be more like him? Who are we according to Proverbs 9:8? "Do not reprove a scoffer, for he will hate you. Reprove a wise man and he will love you." Which are we? Have we earned the reputation, "Don't bother, he'll never listen to correction"?

36:13Or do people say this about you, "They always welcome feedback and correction. They're always looking for it"? Number three, do we labor for the unity in the church family? Do we labor for unity in the body? The Father loves his wandering sheep. He loves the unity of his church. And so do we as a church familyDo we keep short accounts, or do we whisper and sow seeds of discord and division? And do we judge uncharitably? Do we undermine trust in others? Or are we those who Paul describes in Ephesians, "Who walk with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

37:14Can that be said of each one of us? Is that what we're actively striving towards? I want that to characterize my life. And there are going to be many situations in the gray that you're going to figure, you're going to have to pray, and you're going to have to think on, and maybe I don't bring that one. Many situations don't require confrontation at all. Maybe you're just going to absorb the hurt and offense, forgive, and not bring it forward. Peter writes, "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins," 1 Peter 4:8. I think in that, someone sins against you, you see it, they don't see it clearly, and you're going to say, "I'm just going to trust that the Lord will vindicate me in the final day.

38:04I'm just going to absorb that one." Or Proverbs 19:11, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." May we be a people characterized by those two verses. And 15 to 20, that when it requires that we indeed take the steps, the hard and difficult steps, in order to privately confront. More than 15 years ago, I wasn't a pastor, I was a layperson leading a small group at a church. And a woman shared some pretty concerning things in our small group that were both wrong and concerning in some different areas. And so, kind of powwowed with my co-leader, and we were like, "Yeah, we probably need to talk to her." And so my co-leader, his wife, and I went to go talk with her, and we shared that we were concerned.

39:06And she refused our efforts. She got angry at us. She persisted in her immoral and odd behavior, which ultimately resulted in her getting arrested and then committed to an institution. And so then I moved away and lost track. And then years later, I saw her at church, at a church that I was visiting. And she was doing well, and she was in her right mind, and she thanked me for confronting her. And though not all confrontations end this way, Jesus commands us to do this humbly, to fight sin and temptation, to love each other, to share the heart of the Father, and then to lovingly seek the good of the church.

40:02And this is what real Christ-like love looks like. This is what love in action looks like. And so, this morning, I imagine that there are some, you're thinking, "I'm going to have to have a conversation in the next couple of weeks." And there's others who are saying, "I'm so glad I don't have to have any conversations. Clear, blank slate." Yet someone might come to you. Or in a week, or two years, or five years, there's going to be something that bubbles up. May we be a church that doesn't only preach through what Jesus commands, but obeys what He commands for our good and for the good and health of our church. Let's pray.

40:52Father, we are so grateful not only for your instructions that teach us how to live, but that your presence, the very presence of the Father and the Son and the empowering grace of the Spirit are with us in all of these situations. And so we thank you that you are good. You love your church, and you want us to be unified and to be pure, conformed to your image, so that we might love one another and that none would be lost. We pray even now for those who have been removed under discipline, oh, that you would save them and bring them back. Oh, and that we would be eager and ready to forgive. In Jesus' name, amen.

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Sermon Text

Matthew 28:15-20

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