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Colossians

As For The Lord

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August 20, 2023
Colossians 3:18-4:1
Steven Lee
Pastor for Preaching & Vision

Marriage

Parenting & Children

Manhood & Womanhood

Transcript

0:11Would you join me as we pray, father in heaven, we ask that you would open our eyes and open our hearts and open our ears so that we would see the good that you have for us this morning. Conform us to the image of your son Jesus, we desperately need you this morning. We pray that in Christ's name. Amen. How many of you, when you heard Stephen read that passage, started to get a little bit nervous? Uh, uh, I'll hear the chuckling. I didn't see very many hands, but, uh, I, I imagine that a passage like this that begins with wives submit to your husbands is one that elicits various feelings for us this morning. And, uh, I, I'd like to say that I don't think it's a great thing if our instinctive reaction to God's word is nervousness or anxiety or cringing.

1:19Something's not right when we're suspicious about God's word. Second Timothy three 16 tells us that all scripture, Sam, read it earlier as well, all scripture, not just some scripture, not just your favorite verses, not just the ones that we have cross stitched on pillows and the ones up in our house, but all scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching and reproof and for correction, and for training and righteousness so that we would be complete, so that we would look more and more like Christ equipped for every good work. So what I wanna do this morning as we dive into this passage, is to see the good that God has in store for us this morning, for our marriages, for our parenting, for our families, for our work.

2:15What Paul teaches us here in this passage is for our good, just like all the other passages in Colossians that we're talking about, the preeminence of Christ and how you've died with Jesus and raised with him and seeded with him in the heavenly places. This section is not sort of the downer of, oh, and we gotta deal with this stuff, but this is part and parcel of the good that God has for us. This morning, our passage transitions from the command in chapter three, verse 17, that whatever you do in word or indeed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus. And now he wants us to apply this truth in our homes and in our families. And you'll notice that he calls out three specific pairs, wives and husbands, children and parents, or children and fathers and bond servants and masters.

3:13Now, this addresses ancient households, which included domestic servants, which would've been part of the household. It's a little bit like how we might think of a live-in nanny, or if you watch Downton Abbey, you know the servants that are part of the broader household. And the main point of our passage this morning is that the lordship of Jesus transforms our closest relationships. The Lordship of Jesus transforms all of our closest relationships. If you notice when Stephen read this passage, we have nine verses, and there's the mention of the Lord six different times and then master in heaven.

3:53So seven separate mentions of the Lordship of Christ. Our faith in Jesus transforms and changes how we relate to one another. The gospel not only saves us, but transforms us for his glory. And so Paul's aim in, in this passage is he wants our families to be Christ exalting. And think of it this way, when someone first comes to faith in Jesus, they don't think I have salvation. Now let me leave my wife or leave my husband, leave my family, go off, run it to the mountains and, and just with my Bible, and, and become more like Jesus. What it is is when you come to faith in Christ, it transforms our families so that we live out the gospel itself in this most foundational unit.

4:53So it transforms us so that our families, our households, are an opportunity to live out our faith and our obedience to king Jesus. So if Paul were here, he might say, I don't care how spiritual you think you are, if you're not living it out at home, I don't care how much of the Bible you have memorized, if you're not loving your wife or submitting to your husband, I don't care how much systematic theology you think you know if you're not living it out at work. So the foundational question for us this morning is, is Jesus Lord over our marriage and family and work is Jesus Lord over our marriage, family, and work.

5:43And we're gonna look at three, these three pairs. So look with me at verse 18. Get your Bibles open there. Verse 18 says, wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. The idea here is to voluntarily put oneself under the authority of another. We, we see commands like this throughout scripture. Believers are to submit to God. The church is to submit to Christ. Citizens are to submit to their governing authorities. Christians are to submit to their leaders. Ephesians 5 22 is the closest parallel passage and it says, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. And this means that the wife puts herself under her husband's leadership living out the pattern that God established and designed for families. Now, what the scriptures are doing is elevating not demeaning.

6:47They're elevating the role of women in the first century, wives were considered possessions with no legal rights, could be divorced for any reason. And what Paul does here is he commands both the wife and the husband with duties that they're to carry out in their marriage. What Paul also does is he addresses the wives directly, not just addressing the husbands, but he addresses the wives directly acknowledging that they stand before God as equals or as co-heirs of the grace of life, which is the wording Peter uses in one Peter three, seven. So wives are to strive for joyful submission to their husbands because it is fitting in the Lord.

7:34It's appropriate as you submit to King Jesus to also submit to your own husband. Wives, do you seek to joyfully, cheerfully submit to your own husband? Do you respect and honor and affirm his leadership in the family? Sometimes my wife and I will play a little bit of a game. She'll say, what am I thinking about right now? And it's always a little bit frightening when she says that, uh, but nine times outta 10 she's thinking about food. And about 80% of the time, uh, I, I guess exactly what she's thinking about. And I actually mentioned that illustration term, and she says it's probably more than 80%. And so I'm as surprised as you, um, that I can do that. But that's the only time I can read my wife's mind.

8:32All the other times I have no idea what she's thinking, just like the rest of you. And, and, and so it is with many men, we cannot read our wives minds. And so we need our wives, help wives do you help your husband by speaking clear and direct words with what you need from him, what what you want from him. And, and many men and women struggle with this idea of and hierarchy within a marriage when both are equal before the Lord co-heirs of the grace of life. And yet there's some sort of hierarchy where there's submission at work. And I found what this pastor wrote particularly helpful. He says, there's a hierarchy in the Holy Trinity. Father, son Holy Spirit. And yet, equality Orthodoxy teaches that the son is simultaneously equal to the father and submissive to him. And likewise, equality and submissiveness can coexist in human relationships, including the marriage relationship.

9:37Just because we're equal does not mean that submission should not take place. In fact, the Bible repeatedly makes this the case. Now, what this passage doesn't say is that women are inferior to men. This doesn't say that wives should follow their husbands into sin, into sexual immorality or fraud. What this passage doesn't say is that all women are to submit to all men. They're to submit to their own husbands. And this doesn't say that husbands can't or shouldn't seek out their wives wisdom and desires and insights. If they're smart husbands, they'll do precisely that. And yet, this is God's good design for marriage.

10:26Verse 19, husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them. So here we get the second half where husbands have duties and responsibilities to their wives. One commentator wrote, no other code we have discovered from ancient, from the ancient world requires husbands to love their wives. The word here is the word for love is agape. The sacrificial self-giving love. And so the question for husbands here this morning, is your leadership in the home smell and feel like sacrificial love? If I were to make a home visit this afternoon and stop by your house for the next three hours, would I leave thinking boy, he really loves his wife.

11:17Husbands are told specifically not to be harsh. I think the reason for this is because that is a great temptation, and he's already addressed this in general in chapter three, verse 12, hasn't he? He said, put on compassionate hearts, be kind and humble and gentle and patient with one another. And in particular, husbands, are we exhibiting these qualities with those closest to us? Is it easy or is it difficult to submit to your leadership? Husbands love here means to care about our wife's thoughts and emotions and struggles and burdens and fears and anxieties. We're to pray for our wives, we're to reassure them.

12:07Paul doesn't say, husband, make sure your wife submits. He doesn't say, wives are to wait on you hand and foot. It also doesn't say, love your wife insofar as she is easy to love. The Lord Jesus, who is Lord over all, says this about his own leadership. Hear this in Mark 10 45. He says, for even the son of man came not to be served, but to what? But to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. So Jesus who is Lord over all, everything is by him and through him and for him preeminent over all things. Everything come under his feet. And what does he do as he comes to earth? He lays down his life and gives us a pattern of leadership that husbands are to emulate. So husbands, does this characterize the love that you have for your wife?

13:14We can get really concerned about everything going on in the world there. There's a presidential election coming up. There's culture wars to fight. There's legislation in Minnesota. There's all sorts of things out there that we get concerned about. And yet, reform begins at home. Are you living out the lordship of Christ in your family at home? Now, some might be thinking, but pastor, that works for you. But you don't know my wife. You don't know my husband.

13:54And and that's true. I I I don't know all the marriage problems that we face here in this room. And, and they're diverse as we are diverse. I don't know all the circumstances, don't know all the situations. And, and yet, I wanna say this really kindly. It doesn't matter. God commands this of his children and we are to obey. It is for our good. It's always wise. It's always right to obey God, and it's never right to disobey. Now, I want to give one caveat, which is, is, is this, which is, if abuse is taking place in your marriage and you're not safe, we do want to help you. Unfortunately, we live in a sinful and fallen world where there is abuse of various kinds and uncontrollable anger and lashing out and physical safety that's in jeopardy. And so if that's you, if that's the situation you're facing, or you know someone that is facing that, we would do, we we do ask you to reach out to a friend or a pastoral staff member or one of your elders. Now, what does this look like?

15:16We, we know what it commands. What does it look like? What does it smell like? Well, the wife's not to be a doormat, nor is she manipulating and controlling her husband. We, we make jokes about this all the time, right? The, the, the, the husband's the head, but she's the neck and she's turning him wherever she wants. Uh, the husband's not just lying on the couch waiting for his sandwich. He's not stomping through the house, barking out orders. So, so what does this look like? I I, I think the, the best way I I've thought about it is it's like really good dancers. I don't know how many of you have taken ballroom dancing or swing dancing or something like that, right? But it, it's, the man is subtly signaling to his partner through all of his body language, what what's gonna happen next.

16:01And the the woman is keyed in on all that body language and she's following. She, she, she has to follow that, that leadership and, and read those signals and signs. There's give and take. And when it works, it's really beautiful, isn't it? It it's really stunning to see two people who are just kinda ad-libbing in the moment make a, a, a beautiful display of what that looks like. And, and the, the reality is that these commands will find a multitude of expressions within each marriage. They will not all look the same. And yet, are we seeking to carry these things out in our marriages? Early on in our courtship with me and Stephanie, she told me I don't really care for flowers.

16:50And so I have saved hundreds of dollars, thank the Lord by not having to buy any flowers. If she didn't tell me I would keep buying flowers, just 'cause that seems like the right thing to do. Uh, and, and, and yet in your marriage, in in all of our marriages, it's gonna look different. What does it mean for you husbands to live with your wife in an understanding way? And wives, what does it mean for you to come under the leadership and to submit to your husband?

17:24It's gonna look differently, but it's not okay if we're resisting God's good design for our marriages. Now, Paul turns to the relationship between children and parents. Look with me at verse 20. Children, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. So kids, kids listen up. This whole section is addressed to you. Or this one verse, uh, children, it's likely referring to those still under the authority of their parents living at home. Though it, it broadly applies, honor your parents if, if you're an adult child, but they're to obey their parents in everything, children are to listen to their parents in every aspect, in every area of life because this is good for you.

18:10So when your parents say take a bath, it's because they can smell you. And when they say, eat your vegetables, they know it's good for you or to do your homework, or to be nice to your siblings. Adult children, even though they're no longer called to obey in everything, they are still called to honor their parents for this is pleasing in the Lord's sight. And, and again, this is the reason that's drawn out for us. The reason for your obedience is because this pleases the Lord. Your obedience kids to your mom and dad makes God happy. It pleases God in the same way that the Father was pleased with his son, Jesus. We please God, when we obey from a happy heart, our parents, and this assumes parents that we are providing discipline and correction because we love and want what's best for our children.

19:12And, and we can fall off on both sides of this. Can't we? We're barking out orders, you know, get everything at 90 degrees and follow my instructions down to the second, or, or, or we're just not doing anything at all. Just let 'em run amuck. Do whatever they want, let 'em be independent and, and parents were to provide instruction so that our children would obey with happy hearts. Now, what doesn't this say? It doesn't mean that you obey your parents only when you want to. Parental instruction is designed again for your good, but it also means that your parents aren't perfect. They're not gonna get everything right.

19:50They too need the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, verse 21, fathers do not provoke your children unless they become discouraged. Now, fathers here probably hasn't view the heads of households, though broadly it can apply to fathers and mothers and single parent households as well. And the command here is to not provoke or embitter or exasperate or aggravate your children lest they become discouraged. So you gotta think is your training and your discipline and your correction bringing about the wanted change so that you guide your children to be a blessing, not causing them to be exasperated or aggravated so that they're just so discouraged that, that they don't want to listen at all. And, and I think a potential background, uh, text for this is Deuteronomy 21, 20 and 21, which describes how parents are to bring their adult child before the gathered people and, and he's to be stoned to death because of his rebellion and drunkenness and wickedness. And, and so the, the stakes are very high.

21:07Parents are called to shepherd and to train their children in God's ways and don't exasperate or embitter your children so that they buck against both your family rules as well as God's law. And so how do we do that? Uh, I think we do that in a multitude of ways. We, we can set them up for failure. We fail to follow through, we change our rules on a whim. We don't differentiate between our family rules and what God forbids. It's really important that our children see this is what we do as a family, though God may have different standards and, and yet there there's certain things that God commands that we must follow that we don't have a choice in.

21:53Or perhaps you're constantly pointing out their failures or maybe you're failing to correct at all. It's striking that Paul gives a a, a list of wickedness in Romans one, and one of those things is disobedient to parents. So what this doesn't say, this text doesn't say that parents are to be their kids' best friends or that we're supposed to strive to get 'em to be professional athletes. It implies that parents are lovingly engaging their children to train them up in the ways of God. And at times we're going to fall short, aren't we parents often, perhaps. And we're gonna need to ask our children for forgiveness and to say, I'm sorry, son. I'm sorry, daughter, uh, we, we messed up in that. We, we didn't do a good job. That, that's actually one of my most striking memories from my growing up years when I was, I don't know, maybe in high school my parents coming to me and saying, son, we think we failed you in these really significant ways.

22:59And through tears, they confess their sins and I was able to forgive them. It it, it was one of the sweetest moments for me and not because I could be like, yeah, I knew that wasn't great, but, but it was just, oh, we all need the grace of Jesus, don't we? And I need it now too. As a father, parents, are you modeling the love of Christ, the grace of Christ, the forgiveness of Christ parents? Are you loving your children by teaching them to trust the Lord and safeguarding them from all the dangers that are present in our world today? Are you just letting them have free access to social media or pornography or are you engaged looking out for their souls?

23:54So what does this look like? It means that children are to obey their parents in order to please the Lord. And parents, we have to put to death our tendencies to want our kids to get into the Ivy Leagues or the big leagues. And that's why whenever we do baby dedications, it's so significant, right? Together with your parents who love you dearly and this people who care about the outcome of your faith, we commit you to the Lord, surrendering all worldly claim upon your life in the hopes that you will believe and trust in Jesus Christ alone as your Lord and Savior. That's what we do as parents. We're releasing all worldly claim so that they would love and trust Christ.

24:46So are we parenting with this legacy of faith in view? What priorities, what values does your parenting reveal? Far too often in our world today, people parent out of shame or out of comparison. So-and-so's doing that. Uh, their kid's already doing, you know, little, little league baseball. Maybe we should do that with our kids or their kids are already reading and writing and maybe we should do that with our kids. Instead, what does the Lord call us to? And are we following those things? Now we're gonna turn to our final section 22 to four one. And before we jump into the section, let me give a few qualifications because this is dealing with slavery.

25:30Bond servants is also translated slaves. So does this passage endorse slavery? No, I don't believe so that this passage nor any other passage of the Bible endorses slavery. This passage addresses an institution that was a significant element of ancient society and it's trying to teach believers how to live within that structure. So then a second question would be, is slavery fundamentally good? And again, I would say no, the Bible does not teach that slavery is a creation good like marriage or food. It is a result of sin and of the fall. And so much like war in the Old Testament is both commanded and necessary at times, but it isn't fundamentally good in heaven. There will be no more war.

26:21So slavery is ultimately incompatible with the consistent biblical teaching that all people are made in God's image. And the slavery that's being talked about here is different than sort of our antebellum slave trade here in America, that it was more like indentured servitude. People could buy their freedom. Uh, it was not race-based. It was a way to address poverty that was at work within the community. Someone could sell themselves into slavery so that they could work off their debt and be cared for. And, and so it was very different and yet there were still very challenging aspects of it. You were considered property. But I think that throughout the Bible, there's this redemptive historical movement that is increasingly making slavery unthinkable in light of Jesus' commands that we love our neighbors.

27:13So why is this section on bond servants from 22 to 25 4 verses so much longer than all the others, which were just one verse, right? Everyone else gets one verse here. We get the significant section, and I think it's because Paul wrote Ephesians and Colossians and Philemon all around the same time. And Philemon in particular, if you know, deals with slavery in particular. So you see the similar names being mentioned. Onesimus is mentioned in Colossians four, nine. You can peek over there and he's one of the main characters in view in the book of Philemon or Arch Capus is in Colossians four 17. And he shows up in verse two of Philemon and he's being called out.

27:58So we're gonna see why in just a moment. So look with me at verse 22. Bond servants obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of I service as people pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord and not for men. Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ, for the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done. And there is no partiality. So what we'll try to do is apply this more broadly to the relationship of employers, employees, which is really where most of us live.

28:38But what's being stated here is that slaves are to obey their masters. But what Paul is doing is he's directly addressing the slaves just like he did the wives. So he understands that these slaves are gonna be members of the Colossian church, they're gonna stand before God, and he reminds both them and their masters that you all have a heavenly master. You see that obey in everything, those who are your earthly masters because you have a heavenly master, which is explicit later in four one, they're brought to level footing at the foot of the cross. Servants are obey as to the Lord. You see that in verse 23.

29:24Whatever you do work hardily as for the Lord and not for men. The picture here is that they are not just to do it, obey when they're being watched, not by way of eye service not to be people pleasers, so insincere and superficial, but they're to serve sincerely fearing God as if they were working for the Lord himself. And the motivation for this, for their obedience is promised to them that you will have an inheritance. Verse 24, as your reward, you are serving the Lord Christ. So this is quite amazing. Slaves who by and large don't have very many possessions, no inheritance to speak of. In fact, they themselves are possessions.

30:07And Paul is saying to them that you have in heavenly inheritance that what you will get is better than anything that you could possibly inherit here on earth. You have inheritance that is imperishable and undefiled and unfading. So even though you feel like you're working, not earning much, perhaps in our modern day, uh, illustration, you're not filling up your 4 0 1 k, you don't get any stock options. There's, there's really no major payoff, and yet you are serving the Lord. And what you are working for is not an earthly inheritance, but a heavenly inheritance. And that ought to change everything about how we relate to our work. He says, you are serving the Lord Christ.

31:01It means that whatever you are engaged in as your work, maybe you dig holes for a living. Maybe you are working with your hands every day back backbreaking work. Maybe you shuffle papers constantly. I remember one time for a summer, I, I picked up a temp job and I filed papers for eight hours a day like this, massive stacks of papers, you know, a, b, c put 'em in there. Uh, AI should probably take care of some of that or, you know, but it, it was just the most terrible work I could probably think of. But well, there's much worse work actually. But let's put that aside. Uh, but it ought to transform our motivation and our purpose, doesn't it?

31:46Knowing that we are serving the Lord transforms how we think about our work. The lordship of Jesus gives meaning and significance to our work. Now, what doesn't this say? This passage does not say that slavery is good or right. It doesn't say that employers can just do whatever they want. What it this is saying is that the Lord Jesus transforms fundamentally how we think and behave and relate to labor. Our work, verse 25, says that the wrongdoer will be repaid because there is no partiality. I think what Paul is doing here is addressing the very specific situation that's in view in Philemon, because Onesimus was a runaway slave who came to faith in Christ.

32:42And now Paul is sending him back to Philemon and the the book of Philemon. Paul's basically saying, I I want you to receive him back as a brother, but I'm not commanding you, but I want you to do it out of the generosity of your own heart. Because now he's useful to both of us because he's a, a believer in Christ. And I want that to fundamentally transform how you relate to Philemon. And, and I think the temptation could be that for all the other slaves present in the Colossian church thinking, wait, if Philemon got away with it by running away, maybe we should all do the same and maybe our new identity in Christ gives us a a get out of jail free card in a sense. And, and what Paul is saying is, no, no, God shows no partiality.

33:26You will be judged for what you do. And wrongdoing is never excused. The lordship of Jesus reminds us that we will give an account before the Lord. And it does mean that it should make us some of the most diligent and best workers because we're serving the Lord Christ. Now, chapter four, verse one, masters, treat your bond servants, justly and fairly knowing that you also have a master in heaven. So masters, these heads of households are to provide their slaves with what is right and fair and the ground. Or the reason for this is because knowing that you have a master in heaven, you will stand before King Jesus someday, and you will be called to give an account for how you treated those around you.

34:22Did you treat them fairly justly? Did you give them what was due to them? And perhaps for us, if you're an employer, how do you treat others under your oversight and care? So what does this look like? Do we go about our work as though we are serving the Lord and not just for a paycheck? Do we labor in the fear and awe of God? Does the lordship of Jesus transform our attitudes and our motivations at work?

35:06Does the name of Christ through our behavior at work find honor or disrepute? Do people think, oh, you're a Christian, I wanna hire you because I know what Christians are like because of my experience. Or they think, oh, you're a Christian, you're gonna be lazy. We do not just work for money, but we labor to glorify Christ in our work and how we treat others. So the main point this morning is that the lordship of Jesus transforms our closest relationships because Jesus is our Lord. It changes everything. And the reason we can live this way is because of everything we've seen in the book of Colossians up to this point, right? We have died with Christ.

35:56We've been raised with Christ, we've been seated with Christ. Christ dwells in us. We've been brought into union with Christ. We've been called his holy and beloved children. He's put his name upon us. He's redeemed us, he's rescued us. Our hearts are filled with thanksgiving because of the grace of the Lord Jesus. We're so thankful that Jesus is our king. It's such an easy thing to have Jesus as our Lord. He calls us to good. He blesses us with his own son. And because of that reality, we want the Lordship of Jesus to trickle down into every crevice of our life and into our closest relationships.

36:45And at every turn, when you leave this building, our culture is undermining that at every point, lies are being sold to you. Wives are told, find your joy and your fulfillment outside of your family. Be be that amazing girl boss. Find, find it in the looks of other men or in friendships or being an influencer. Men are constantly sold a lie. Find your sexual fulfillment in pornography, empower in money, use women don't love them. Children in our day and age are told they are at the center of the universe. We need to listen to them and bow down to them when they tell us what is going on. And it's being reflected in many parents in how they parent their children.

37:39Children are being told that they know better than their parents. Your parents are old fashioned. They don't, they don't understand this new world or or in the working world. There's this new phenomenon of quiet quitting. Have you guys heard of this phrase? It, it just means that you just slowly do less and less and less and less work just the bare minimum until you get fired because you no longer care. And that's told, uh, that that's appropriate because you know they don't really care about you anyways. And yet God sees, God knows God, judges God shows no partiality. And what is fitting and appropriate for the people of God is that we come under the Lordship of Christ because Jesus has saved us, rescued us out of darkness, into his marvelous light, that we can now live as those who glorify Christ in all of life, that we treasure him in all of life. So this passage calls us to let Jesus rule over our hearts and lives and relationships.

38:46So husbands show the love of Jesus to your wife. Help them see Jesus more clearly. In and through you. Wives, display the submission of the church towards Christ in your marriage. Show the submission of Christ in your marriage, the humility of Christ children. Listen to your moms and dads because this pleases God. God is pleased with you when you obey. And moms and dads, let's raise our children up to be cedars of Lebanon and oaks of righteousness that would stand firm, that this crooked and twisted generation, it begins at home. If revival is going to come to our world, our community, our state, our, our cities, it's gonna begin where we are taking seriously God's commands to us and how to live out and under his lordship in our work and in our families. Let's pray. Father, do what we can't do in transforming our hearts and showing us the beauty and the majesty of your commands for our good as we carry out in obedience to Jesus.

40:10Help us to love and trust you more and to walk in your ways. In Jesus' name, amen.

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Sermon Text

Colossians 3:18-4:1

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